Ski Twat Season only a matter of weeks away

Ski Twats across the country and indeed across Europe are already deciding on which ridiculously expensive, twatty sunglasses to wear on the ski slopes in the coming season.

Local sports shop owner, Jean-Claude, gave Benelux News an interview to tell us all about what’s been popular in the shop recently.

“The new ski outfits are flying out the door. I can’t keep up with the demand,” he said. “We are just selling the most ridiculous looking ski outfits to anyone. As soon as they look at it a bit strangely, I just tell them that it has a new ultra warming system inside and everyone will be wearing it on the slopes this year. Then they buy it straight away.”

“The same goes for the skis. If there is even a spec of dust on their skis from last year, I just tell them they might not be safe for the slopes. Works every time!”

One local man from Belair claimed he doesn’t mind pointlessly spending all that money, as long as he can brag and show off at the Apres Ski Party in the evenings.

“All I want to do, after a hard day of spraying people with snow when I pull up, is go to the party and be as loud and annoying as possible. It really is a fantastic holiday pastime.”

Expect monumental amounts of twats heading to a mountain near you soon!

Advertisements