Authorities have expressed concerns over fresh protests by yellow jackets around the Grand Duchy. The creche attendees have been protesting over the price of attending creche in Luxembourg. “Every year the price rises for young children to attend creche.” said one spokesman. “We are being stretched to a limit where our Christmas gifts are being reduced. It cannot continue!” Police […]
Images made their way back to Europe today of Ryanair’s Customer Service department after several passengers went on a trip to try to get their money back from the cancellations in 2017. After cancelling nearly half a million passengers’ journeys in 2017 and still not refunding the money, the disgruntled customers set out to try to get some answers. Despite […]
This summer, Europe saw its hotels compete for the world title of “Smallest Glass of Orange Juice at Breakfast.” Competition was fierce with some hotels offering only small shot glasses in attempts to save money and gain the title. Many hotel visitors reported multiple trips to the juice machine and long queues each time as demand soared to quench their […]
France beat Croatia 4-2 in the World Cup Final 2018. While most countries celebrated in an orderly fashion, the French “fans” decided to destroy their country. We have the recent update in images captured by our photographers in the areas affected.
This afternoon, after the shock departure of David Davis and Boris Johnson, it was announced that Pinky and the Brain (Minus et Cortex) would join the UK Government to specialise in Brexit negotiations and general strategy of the UK’s involvement in international relations. More details will be made later as to more specific roles of each character as the UK […]
Global media was going crazy today after Ed Sheeran and his Fiancee tied the knot. The couple married in Windsor and could symbolise the end game.
Many summer holidays may be cancelled this summer after a number of sources say that, following last year’s catastrophe after Ryanair messed up the holiday schedules for pilots in 2017, which resulted in hundreds of cancelled flights. According to sources, most of the staff have chosen to take most of the summer off and so many family holidays will indeed […]
News broke this morning that the new blue UK Passports will be made from hemp after Franco-Dutch company Gemalto revealed they will be taking care of production. Brexiteers reacted furiously after news broke that the passports wouldn’t be being produced in some local shit hole factory in a strange northern town, populated by inbreds left behind after all the Polish […]
A Luxembourgish family are reported to have purchased an island in the Mediterranean for 18 million euros. The Island, close to Ibiza and Formentera, was sold to the anonymous family just last week. Benelux News sent their reporters down to investigate and try to get an interview with the island’s new owner who wished to remain anonymous for the time […]
A recent survey revealed that regular train passengers who travel from Luxembourg to Brussels have absolutely no idea why train stations even exist between Arlon and Namur. The frustratingly slow train which travels between 2 major European cities has come under fire for being totally boring and even going as far as ridiculing the silly hats worn by train ticket […]
Ski Twats across the country and indeed across Europe are already deciding on which ridiculously expensive, twatty sunglasses to wear on the ski slopes in the coming season. Local sports shop owner, Jean-Claude, gave Benelux News an interview to tell us all about what’s been popular in the shop recently. “The new ski outfits are flying out the door. I […]
Shock rippled through Europe today after two of Britain’s biggest Brexit supporters travelled freely through the eurozone to take a stupid photo. Using their open border passports for travel, they decided to take a photo disapproving the very agreement that allowed them to travel to do so. Echoes of laughter could be heard throughout the surrounding countryside as the pair […]
A woman from Bertrange was shocked this week to discover that the 20kg baggage allowance for her flight was in fact a limit and not a target. Despite not needing half the clothes she packed for her holiday, she became agitated when her husband pointed out that she would probably do some shopping on holiday and would need more space […]
A group of Luxembourg football fans are 100% convinced that Luxembourg will lift the trophy at the 2018 World Cup after winning the qualification match against France on the weekend. The away 0-0 draw has caused fever pitch among fans with excitement growing by the second. “Majo ha… 2018 is the year for Letzebuerg,” said Jean Claude after the game […]
Benelux News caught up with a local woman this week who is absolutely convinced she is saving money by buying more things in shops displaying the “soldes” or sales sign in the window. The signs work as a kind of magnet for women while walking within 3 square kilometres of a shop, according to sources. Which has tricked many women […]
A survey performed this week about the French public’s opinion about the final results of the national election have proved to be reasonably neutral. In the run down to the final voting session between Le Pen and Macron, it would seem that either way this turns, the French are ready to call in a national strike and plan to destroy […]