Hot weather gives legal right to drive like an idiot

Audi drivers rejoiced this morning after it was announced by local governments across Europe that the hot weather provides a legal excuse in order to drive like an idiot.

In a rare situation where BMW drivers were able to agree with Audi drivers, it seems that having the roof down and playing extremely loud reggaeton music is temporarily legal for a brief period of time while the sun shines brightly down on Europe.

Cutting corners and being a road hog with also be acceptable during the summer months.

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England suffering final winter before post Brexit permanent summer

The UK braced itself for the last ever full winter before Brexit kicks in.

According to forecasts by Pro Brexit voters, after March 2019, the weather will be permanently sunny and hot and there won’t be anything to worry about after Brexit kicks in.

Record numbers of swimming pools have already been ordered ready for the permanent heat wave, as well as a massive increase in British people applying for jobs as highly paid ice-cream van drivers.