Satellite images emerge of Troisvierges

Scientists this week revealed images taken from satellites in space of Troisvierges in the north of Luxembourg.

The location, known mostly to the public as some place that a couple of trains go to and the occasional bus, is set to become the next area of exploration.

Space mining companies are keen to exploit the area for new findings in minerals.

More info to come as Benelux News follows progress.

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Local man determined to get drunk for free in supermarket

A local man was on his usual supermarket shopping spree in Bertrange on Friday when he spotted 3 different wine tasting stalls inside the store within a 75 metre radius.

Quick to react to the situation, the man beckoned his girlfriend directly over to the closest wine tasting stand, completely bypassing the noodles section and the Nutella section.

While sipping his second sample of red wine, the mans thoughts were becoming focussed on how many free samples he could get away with at each stand, while carefully calculating the possibilities of finding a possible free snack somewhere in the shop and making a full dinner our of the whole experience.

Sadly, the mans hopes and dreams were destroyed when the realisation came that he and his girlfriend still had to visit the fruit and veg section before the shop closed.

Plans are being made for the next visit.

“Shutting doors on passengers” 2019 competition begins

Bus drivers throughout the country today officially launched the new “Shutting doors on passengers” 2019.

The game which has become quite a competitive sport in recent years, sees bus drivers use their skills to shut the rear doors ofbthe bus just a split second before the passenger steps on to the bus, ensuring the doors manage to “catch” them as they are just off the pavement outside.

Bonus points are also given if they manage to catch a passenger stepping off the bus as well.

“I managed to get over 1,500 people last year,” said one driver. “I’m really going to go for gold this year.”

The competition starts now and will be continuing for the remainder of the year.

Lux residents warned not to drink in bars that use little measuring things

A government alert was sent out today to warn Luxembourg residents not to drink in venues that use “silly little measuring things.”

As part of a government clampdown on boring establishments, the silly little measuring things, known as jiggers, are officially recognised as party killers and just put people off buying drinks. Especially when you pay an average of 12 euros for most drinks using spirits.

Benelux News got an exclusive interview with one party regular.

“It’s like they are just killing the fun.” Said the woman. “We are paying a lot of money for these drinks and the last thing we need us some boring party pooper to ‘limit’ our fun.”

Government advice given to bars is to stop being meanies and get the party started!

Woman can’t wait to completely change menu items

Restaurants across the country are currently preparing themselves for the arrival of a woman, or potentially several people who want to completely change what’s on the menu in their local restaurant.

Despite the menu clearly explaining what’s featured on the plate, changes must be made!

The woman is expected to request no onions, gluten free bread (even though gluten is not really a problem for her), the sauce to be separated into some strange side dish, order the meat super rare and then complain that it’s not cooked enough, insisting on a side salad but only eating two mouthfuls and leaving the rest.

“This is a growing problem,” said one restaurant owner. “Some people come in here thinking they know how to run a kitchen, but quickly realise they have no clue about cooking at all.”

Kitchen staff across the country will be expected to simultaneously roll their eyes whenever people make these kind of orders.

“More research needed” claim Luxembourg drinkers.

Following the results of previous years, Luxembourg’s drinkers claim that further essential research is required for investigating global beers and wines.

Due to a lack of memory last years results have been confirmed as “inconclusive” and thus requires further investigation and more essential funding is required.

“We need to be sure about the results,” claimed one investigator.

“There is no other choice.”

Luxembourg International Bazaar happens this weekend.

Residents celebrate opening of new roadworks

Residents around the Place de Paris recently opened a special Christmas Market to celebrate the arrival of new road works along the Avenue de Liberty this week.

The local residents committee approved the event weeks ago with all residents in full support of the project.

“We are so happy to have the roadworks here,” said one neighbour. “With all the traffic jams and noise it will feel like a real city.”

The market will be there until a couple of days before Christmas.