Luxembourg’s emergency services issued a warning to football fans attending matches broadcast on the Glacis car park this morning, after dozens of Switzerland fans piled into the First Aid tent, thinking they could get a better view of the game while chanting “Hop Suisse” Fans were reminded that the First Aid tent is for any people who may need emergency […]
Sighs of relief were felt across the country today, as bus companies announced that air-conditioning in buses will be available on some routes as an “optional extra”. Despite Luxembourg being one of the richest countries in the world, the standard of air conditioning in public buildings and public transport remains a laughing stock when compared to other poorer countries who […]
A new scientific experiment has shown results that confirm tbat smacking the button at a zebra crossing repeatedly will force traffic to suddenly stop. Results show that immediately after impatiently hitting the button, all drivers nearby will drop everything they’re doing and stop to let people cross the road.
Immobilières across the country are delighted to have a new range of bird houses released on to the market this week, after it was announced they could fetch up to almost 100k. There will be two types available, from the luxury bird penthouses (90k) to the smaller green birdhouses designed for social bird housing for around 55k. “At only €2,000 […]
Mystery surrounds many shops in Luxembourg, between a mix of lazy service and rude shopkeepers, overpriced goods and just bizarre items on sale. Benelux News has also come across several shops that sell absolute crap and somehow manage to stay in business after many years. With rent so high for shops and commercial places, the general public seems to be […]
Xavier Bettel this morning proposed a new law which would see tax reforms come in that would make up for lost revenue from lack of bar and restaurant staff tips. Under the new law, French cross border workers would be penalised when crossing the border by being made to put at least 2 euros into a tip box located at […]
You may remember, back in December, Benelux News managed to get an exclusive interview with a woman who had been driving around Auchan car park for 3 days trying to find a space. You can read the interview here: https://beneluxnews.net/2017/12/19/woman-enters-3rd-day-of-driving-round-auchan-car-park/ It turns out she has finally found one 3 MONTHS later! Benelux News was again first on the scene and […]
The year is 2018 and the Luxembourg Police force has appealed for help from the public to identify a criminal after being photographed by a Lego camera. The man (we think) is wanted for fraudulently using a bank card at a local cash point. A Police spokesperson said; “By releasing this picture to the public, we wanted to show this […]
A feeling of ease was felt across the country this morning after it was officially announced by local government that a decision had been made to cancel Monday due to a lack of interest. Government officials are currently discussing banning Mondays completely and are hoping to come to a conclusive decision in the coming weeks.
Luxembourg Police on Friday decided that they no longer can be bothered to seek out a possible international terrorist threat and instead pick on some local teenagers smoking a joint. After some discussion between senior officers, it was decided that because nothing really terrorist related had happened, they would give some basic training to the Palace guards who could then […]
The UK braced itself for the last ever full winter before Brexit kicks in. According to forecasts by Pro Brexit voters, after March 2019, the weather will be permanently sunny and hot and there won’t be anything to worry about after Brexit kicks in. Record numbers of swimming pools have already been ordered ready for the permanent heat wave, as […]
As harsh measures were brought in this week after Donald Trump said that teachers will be carrying guns following the mass school shooting in Florida, Luxembourg is taking no chances and will be providing all teachers nationwide with privileged access to all wifi boxes and internet connections. The teachers will have the option to turn off the wifi at any […]
Emergency services were alerted this week after reports that a man waiting for a bus in Kirchberg turned into a snowman. The man was reported to have been waiting for the 222 bus for a long period of time before eventually turning in to a real snowman. Bus routes on the Kirchberg have been suffering severe problems since the introduction […]
A local man from Belair travelling in to the city made sure to press the stop button on the bus just to be sure the bus would stop at the next bus stop. Despite another passenger already pressing the button just a few moments before and the “de Bus hält” sign already lit up, the man decided to press the […]
Traffic problems flared this afternoon as members of the public decided “fuck it” and attempted to flag down cars in order to travel between Kierchberg and Luxembourg City. Following the cancellation of various bus services between the two destinations, it would appear that several years of planning and building the new tram service has been a complete waste of time […]
Shock ripped through the country today as a known alcoholic turned down a bottle of free Fox beer. The man from Petange was counting through some loose change while walking in to a bar where a promotion for Fox beer was happening. The so called “beer” was being offered for free by the bar staff partly because of a promotion […]