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Tag: luxembourg

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Immobilière puts bird house on market for €90,000

Immobilières across the country are delighted to have a new range of bird houses released on to the market this week, after it was announced they could fetch up to almost 100k. There will be two types available, from the luxury bird penthouses (90k) to the smaller green birdhouses designed for social bird housing for around 55k. “At only €2,000 […]

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Shop selling absolute crap somehow still in business

Mystery surrounds many shops in Luxembourg, between a mix of lazy service and rude shopkeepers, overpriced goods and just bizarre items on sale. Benelux News has also come across several shops that sell absolute crap and somehow manage to stay in business after many years. With rent so high for shops and commercial places, the general public seems to be […]

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After 3 months, woman finally gets parking place at Auchan

You may remember, back in December, Benelux News managed to get an exclusive interview with a woman who had been driving around Auchan car park for 3 days trying to find a space. You can read the interview here: https://beneluxnews.net/2017/12/19/woman-enters-3rd-day-of-driving-round-auchan-car-park/ It turns out she has finally found one 3 MONTHS later! Benelux News was again first on the scene and […]

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Monday cancelled due to lack of interest

A feeling of ease was felt across the country this morning after it was officially announced by local government that a decision had been made to cancel Monday due to a lack of interest. Government officials are currently discussing banning Mondays completely and are hoping to come to a conclusive decision in the coming weeks.

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Police stop international terrorist search to arrest teenager for small bag of weed

Luxembourg Police on Friday decided that they no longer can be bothered to seek out a possible international terrorist threat and instead pick on some local teenagers smoking a joint. After some discussion between senior officers, it was decided that because nothing really terrorist related had happened, they would give some basic training to the Palace guards who could then […]

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Man turns into snow waiting for bus in Kirchberg

Emergency services were alerted this week after reports that a man waiting for a bus in Kirchberg turned into a snowman. The man was reported to have been waiting for the 222 bus for a long period of time before eventually turning in to a real snowman. Bus routes on the Kirchberg have been suffering severe problems since the introduction […]

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Public start hitchhiking between Kirchberg and the City

Traffic problems flared this afternoon as members of the public decided “fuck it” and attempted to flag down cars in order to travel between Kierchberg and Luxembourg City. Following the cancellation of various bus services between the two destinations, it would appear that several years of planning and building the new tram service has been a complete waste of time […]

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6000 people go to see fake DJ press play

Thousands of young people flocked to the Rockhal this week to see super star and apparent “DJ” press play on a USB player it was revealed. French super star David Guetta managed to fool yet another concert venue in to thinking he was actually DJing by using a pre-recorded mix put together by a team of people behind the show. […]