Growing concern Covid19 could mutate into Man Flu

Leading experts are facing growing concerns that Covid-19 (Corona Virus) could potentially mutate into Man-Flu within the next six months.

The virus has shown symptoms of becoming far stronger than originally thought and could progress into something far more serious, threatening the worlds male population.

Although many doubt that the Corona Virus could reach such strong measures, some are getting prepared early.

Families around the world are being asked to stock up on hot chocolate, tea, chocolate biscuits and haribo.

Should such an outbreak occur, wives and partners are being asked to stay on red alert.

Final days of using “Moien” as accepted currency

Luxembourg residents are entering the final days of using “Moien” as accepted currency when boarding the bus.

For generations, Luxembourg citizens have used the word “Moien” to ‘pay’ for bus rides. Walking straight onto the bus confidently and giving the impression that you definitely have a valid bus pass in your pocket has long been a tradition in the Grand Duchy.

Now as the 1st March approaches when free transport across the country will become free, many residents are confused how this will effect driver / passenger relations.

Benelux News managed to speak with some bus users ahead of this historic ruling.

“Wait….. What…. You mean we had to pay before?” said one passenger.

While others were considering buying a 1st class ticket just to get away from ‘commoners’ using the free carriages on the train.

How this will effect the comfort of trains and buses in the future, only time will tell.

Meteolux issues red alert for storm in teacup

Meteolux this morning announced a “red alert” status for Luxembourg after signs of a storm in a tea cup were brewing.

Meteolux claim the storm could spread quite widely causing hot water to get spilt and maybe some twigs outside to fall to the ground.

Residents are urged to remain indoors and only go to the pub if absolutely necessary.

Construction worker shouting incomprehensible gibberish

Several heads turned this morning after a construction worker was attempting to communicate with his colleague using an unspecified language.

Local worker Joao was trying to signal to his colleague with the digger that he was too far across the area by simply shouting incomprehensible gibberish as loudly as possible.

Onlookers looked confused as nobody could tell if the language being spoken was French, Portuguese or just complete nonsense.

Joao was unable to do an interview as he was too busy supervising stuff.

Local man starts drive home for Christmas in November

A local man started his drive home from Luxembourg City this afternoon and is hoping to arrive at his home in Neideranven in time for Christmas day.

The city’s streets have been plagued with traffic jams over the last few days and so the man is hoping to get a head start by setting off today (Friday 8th November).

At the time Beneleux News held the interview with the man sitting in his car on the Avenue de la Gare, he was remaining optimistic.

“I thought if I leave the office now, I could get a head start,” said the man.

“I’ve got enough petrol in the tank and a supply of food and drinks with me, it should be possible. I’m also loaded with an extensive library of Chris Rea songs to keep my optimistic for the journey. All I can think about are the happy faces of my wife and kids when I arrive.”

All the staff here at Beneleux News wish him the best of luck and will try to catch up for a progress interview in a few weeks when he reaches the Black Stuff.

Lydie Polfer takes direct action after scooter spotted at protest

Luxembourg City mayor, Lydie Polfer promised immediate action yesterday after residents of the gare area protested at the bottom of rue de Strasbourg against rising numbers of drug dealers and prostitution in the area.

The protest went mostly unnoticed by government officials until a child on a scooter appeared at the protest.

As the emergency news reached government offices, Mme Polfer promised direct action against this menace of the streets.

An official report is yet to be made, but if rumours are to become true, it appears that Mme Polfer would prefer to keep the dealers on the streets and ban the use of rentable Scooters.

More news as it breaks.

Luxembourg legalises Hämmelsmarsch band hunting

Luxembourgish government this weekend voted on allowing members of the public to legally be able to hunt Hämmelsmarsch bands and their members.

Fear has been growing for several years after an undercover operation unveiled a hardcore extremist group operating around the country known as the ‘BBB’, (Brass Band Bastards).

The group are known for targeting members of the public on random Sunday mornings throughout the year and are almost guaranteed to target either tired or extremely hungover people with banging drums and bad sounding trumpets.

The new law was passed with a 99% majority vote in Parliament and will come into force immediately.

Legal ownership of firearms is also being considered for Hämmelsmarsch band hunting purposes only.

City Sightseeing Bus adds roadworks tour route

The famous “Hop On-Hop Off” sightseeing bus company has announced a new tour route covering Luxembourg’s roadworks, or chantiers to its options of viewing the city.

In addition to current routes, the roadworks tour will show passengers all of the current road holes and explain the history behind each hole including how many times it has been dug up and how many years it took to complete each “1 week project”.

More info can be found on their website.

Chaos as 18,000 people bring their own car to concert

Traffic chaos hit Luxembourg on Saturday night as pretty much EVERYONE who attended the Rammstein concert decided to bring their own car.

In typical Luxembourg fashion, public transport was seen as an unnecessary option and many people thought it would save time to just drive to the concert in individual cars.

This led to many hours of cars queueing to get out of the parking area.

One concert goer we spoke to commented: “Majoooo haaa! I don’t take the bus to come here. I drive my BMW and my friends will all take their cars too. You must be crazy to take the bus!”

 

Hot weather gives legal right to drive like an idiot

Audi drivers rejoiced this morning after it was announced by local governments across Europe that the hot weather provides a legal excuse in order to drive like an idiot.

In a rare situation where BMW drivers were able to agree with Audi drivers, it seems that having the roof down and playing extremely loud reggaeton music is temporarily legal for a brief period of time while the sun shines brightly down on Europe.

Cutting corners and being a road hog with also be acceptable during the summer months.