Authorities discover secret cafes under schools

A big surprise this week as authorities discovered several secretly hidden bars, cafes, restaurants and discos this week underneath a number of primary schools across the country.

As covid cases raised steadily among pupils, leading the government to make decisions to close schools, it seems that the new spread of the virus seems to have come from the underground caves hosting the illegal restaurants.

Students as young as 4 have been rumoured to regularly drink in these establishments, prompting an enquiry by the Police.

“It is now clear where this is coming from,” said an education spokesperson. “By shutting down the schools, we can therefore stop the students going into the secret restaurants and stop the spread once and for all.”

Paris riots could be cancelled due to Corona virus, experts warn

The weekly Paris riots could be cancelled due to fear of the spread of the Corona virus.

Experts have warned that rioters could spread the infection through gathering in large groups.

However, riot organisers have argued that they already wear masks to many of the events and have assured authorities that they will thoroughly wash their hands before throwing molotov cocktails and setting alight to cars.

Marc, who normally riots on a Saturday afternoon said “If there are too many people gathered who could spread the Corona virus on the weekend, then maybe I will consider rioting on a Monday when there are less people on the streets.”

Talks are still underway.