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Man turns into snow waiting for bus in Kirchberg

Emergency services were alerted this week after reports that a man waiting for a bus in Kirchberg turned into a snowman. The man was reported to have been waiting for the 222 bus for a long period of time before eventually turning in to a real snowman. Bus routes on the Kirchberg have been suffering severe problems since the introduction […]

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Public start hitchhiking between Kirchberg and the City

Traffic problems flared this afternoon as members of the public decided “fuck it” and attempted to flag down cars in order to travel between Kierchberg and Luxembourg City. Following the cancellation of various bus services between the two destinations, it would appear that several years of planning and building the new tram service has been a complete waste of time […]

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Desperate alcoholic refuses to drink free Fox beer

Shock ripped through the country today as a known alcoholic turned down a bottle of free Fox beer. The man from Petange was counting through some loose change while walking in to a bar where a promotion for Fox beer was happening. The so called “beer” was being offered for free by the bar staff partly because of a promotion […]

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6000 people go to see fake DJ press play

Thousands of young people flocked to the Rockhal this week to see super star and apparent “DJ” press play on a USB player it was revealed. French super star David Guetta managed to fool yet another concert venue in to thinking he was actually DJing by using a pre-recorded mix put together by a team of people behind the show. […]

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New Luxembourg Monopoly game scrapped because not enough paper money can be printed

The latest edition of the popular board game Monopoly has had its latest Luxembourg Edition cancelled after the game making company revealed that there simply isn’t enough paper in the region to print for in game money. The findings come after various environmental attempts to cut down on paper usage have conflicted with rising property prices in the grand duchy. […]

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Woman spends 2 days going up Auchan escalator

Crowds gathered at the top of one of the Auchan escalators this afternoon after a local woman was reported to have made a two day journey up to the first floor of the supermarket complex. The journey started on Wednesday morning just as the lunch time rush was getting underway. Auchan escalators are well known for being notoriously slow, to […]

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Panic as dozens of men report being snowed in to the bar

Panic spread across the country this afternoon as dozens of men phoned home saying they are snowed in to various bars and cafes. Harsh weather conditions are to blame as emergency services claim to be unable to help. “Emergency services are currently stretched to the max dealing with various traffic incidents on the roads.” Claimed a spokesman. “The only thing […]

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Luxembourg residents advised to stock up on beer in case of being snowed in 

Authorities issued a warning to all Luxembourg residents this morning to stock up on additional beer during the winter season. As reports came in of more snow being forecast, the government decided to act quickly. Benelux News was first to receive the announcement and managed to get a quick interview. “We could see possible dangers coming.” Said a spokesman. “We […]

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Man falls into coma waiting for Indian food delivery

On Friday evening ambulance crews were called after a local man near Merl fell into a coma while waiting for an Indian food delivery. After ordering from a popular Indian restaurant and take away near the gare, the man was rumoured to be waiting over two hours for the food to arrive. Ambulance crews were called after neighbours became concerned […]