New law proposals were approved this morning that would ban the wearing of socks with sandals in all public places by as early as next summer. The bill was passed in the chambres des deputies with an overwhelming 94% vote in favour. Checks at the gare as well as border controls will become stricter. Extra security checks in supermarket parking […]
Xavier Bettel this weekend managed to pass a new law that will see noisy eaters and people who eat with their mouth open be deported from Luxembourg. The new law, which was passed with a 99% majority, bypasses all existing refugee and immigration laws, will hopefully be brought in before Christmas. “By introducing this law as quickly as possible, we […]
The Hollerich independence party this morning released the first image of the proposed Hollerich airport to be built once Hollerich has gained independence from Luxembourg. The single terminal airport is expected to handle up to 100 flights per day and will be a destination for flights from as far away as LaRochette and Septfontaine. Some surprise has come at the […]
France beat Croatia 4-2 in the World Cup Final 2018. While most countries celebrated in an orderly fashion, the French “fans” decided to destroy their country. We have the recent update in images captured by our photographers in the areas affected.
This afternoon, after the shock departure of David Davis and Boris Johnson, it was announced that Pinky and the Brain (Minus et Cortex) would join the UK Government to specialise in Brexit negotiations and general strategy of the UK’s involvement in international relations. More details will be made later as to more specific roles of each character as the UK […]
Xavier Bettel this morning announced his proposal for free taxis around the country if successful in the next election. It is thought that the taxis will be paid for by taxing cross border workers. As the electoral debate heats up, politicians seem to be making all kinds of promises in order to gain your vote.
Xavier Bettel stunned politicians this morning after suggesting skipping this year’s election voting process and going straight to penalties. The current Prime minister is so confident after seeing England’s victory over Colombia, that he too believes he can win the election by having a penalty shootout. Fellow politicians are said to be in training for a potential penalty situation.
Luxembourg’s emergency services issued a warning to football fans attending matches broadcast on the Glacis car park this morning, after dozens of Switzerland fans piled into the First Aid tent, thinking they could get a better view of the game while chanting “Hop Suisse” Fans were reminded that the First Aid tent is for any people who may need emergency […]
Sighs of relief were felt across the country today, as bus companies announced that air-conditioning in buses will be available on some routes as an “optional extra”. Despite Luxembourg being one of the richest countries in the world, the standard of air conditioning in public buildings and public transport remains a laughing stock when compared to other poorer countries who […]
Global media was going crazy today after Ed Sheeran and his Fiancee tied the knot. The couple married in Windsor and could symbolise the end game.
A new scientific experiment has shown results that confirm tbat smacking the button at a zebra crossing repeatedly will force traffic to suddenly stop. Results show that immediately after impatiently hitting the button, all drivers nearby will drop everything they’re doing and stop to let people cross the road.
Many summer holidays may be cancelled this summer after a number of sources say that, following last year’s catastrophe after Ryanair messed up the holiday schedules for pilots in 2017, which resulted in hundreds of cancelled flights. According to sources, most of the staff have chosen to take most of the summer off and so many family holidays will indeed […]
Immobilières across the country are delighted to have a new range of bird houses released on to the market this week, after it was announced they could fetch up to almost 100k. There will be two types available, from the luxury bird penthouses (90k) to the smaller green birdhouses designed for social bird housing for around 55k. “At only €2,000 […]
Mystery surrounds many shops in Luxembourg, between a mix of lazy service and rude shopkeepers, overpriced goods and just bizarre items on sale. Benelux News has also come across several shops that sell absolute crap and somehow manage to stay in business after many years. With rent so high for shops and commercial places, the general public seems to be […]
Xavier Bettel this morning proposed a new law which would see tax reforms come in that would make up for lost revenue from lack of bar and restaurant staff tips. Under the new law, French cross border workers would be penalised when crossing the border by being made to put at least 2 euros into a tip box located at […]
News broke this morning that the new blue UK Passports will be made from hemp after Franco-Dutch company Gemalto revealed they will be taking care of production. Brexiteers reacted furiously after news broke that the passports wouldn’t be being produced in some local shit hole factory in a strange northern town, populated by inbreds left behind after all the Polish […]