Police forces across Europe today started a Europe wide round up of Brexit Brits and sending them home.
Police forces in Amsterdam, Ibiza, Prague and many others began the raids at around 5am this morning in preparation for the UK’s official exit from the EU at midnight tonight.
Countries who had experienced particular troubles with “Brits Abroad” including football hooligans, stag nights and English yobs were particularly eager to get rid of the idiots who creep onto the continent due to lax laws on immigration into the Schengen zone.
Starting on 1st Feb 2020, there will be a visa system in place to keep the idiots out, with France even considering bricking up the entrance to the Channel Tunnel towards the end of the year.
“Certain measures will be in place to keep out the idiots”, said a Police spokesman. “We fully intend to keep out Barry and the lads from Clacton-On-Sea, as well as Kev and Darren and their 20 pints challenge.”
Crowds of local residents gathered in various cities to applaud the work of the Police.
Several heads turned this morning after a construction worker was attempting to communicate with his colleague using an unspecified language.
Local worker Joao was trying to signal to his colleague with the digger that he was too far across the area by simply shouting incomprehensible gibberish as loudly as possible.
Onlookers looked confused as nobody could tell if the language being spoken was French, Portuguese or just complete nonsense.
Joao was unable to do an interview as he was too busy supervising stuff.
A local man started his drive home from Luxembourg City this afternoon and is hoping to arrive at his home in Neideranven in time for Christmas day.
The city’s streets have been plagued with traffic jams over the last few days and so the man is hoping to get a head start by setting off today (Friday 8th November).
At the time Beneleux News held the interview with the man sitting in his car on the Avenue de la Gare, he was remaining optimistic.
“I thought if I leave the office now, I could get a head start,” said the man.
“I’ve got enough petrol in the tank and a supply of food and drinks with me, it should be possible. I’m also loaded with an extensive library of Chris Rea songs to keep my optimistic for the journey. All I can think about are the happy faces of my wife and kids when I arrive.”
All the staff here at Beneleux News wish him the best of luck and will try to catch up for a progress interview in a few weeks when he reaches the Black Stuff.
Luxembourg City mayor, Lydie Polfer promised immediate action yesterday after residents of the gare area protested at the bottom of rue de Strasbourg against rising numbers of drug dealers and prostitution in the area.
The protest went mostly unnoticed by government officials until a child on a scooter appeared at the protest.
As the emergency news reached government offices, Mme Polfer promised direct action against this menace of the streets.
An official report is yet to be made, but if rumours are to become true, it appears that Mme Polfer would prefer to keep the dealers on the streets and ban the use of rentable Scooters.
More news as it breaks.
Luxembourgish government this weekend voted on allowing members of the public to legally be able to hunt Hämmelsmarsch bands and their members.
Fear has been growing for several years after an undercover operation unveiled a hardcore extremist group operating around the country known as the ‘BBB’, (Brass Band Bastards).
The group are known for targeting members of the public on random Sunday mornings throughout the year and are almost guaranteed to target either tired or extremely hungover people with banging drums and bad sounding trumpets.
The new law was passed with a 99% majority vote in Parliament and will come into force immediately.
Legal ownership of firearms is also being considered for Hämmelsmarsch band hunting purposes only.
The famous “Hop On-Hop Off” sightseeing bus company has announced a new tour route covering Luxembourg’s roadworks, or chantiers to its options of viewing the city.
In addition to current routes, the roadworks tour will show passengers all of the current road holes and explain the history behind each hole including how many times it has been dug up and how many years it took to complete each “1 week project”.
More info can be found on their website.
Traffic chaos hit Luxembourg on Saturday night as pretty much EVERYONE who attended the Rammstein concert decided to bring their own car.
In typical Luxembourg fashion, public transport was seen as an unnecessary option and many people thought it would save time to just drive to the concert in individual cars.
This led to many hours of cars queueing to get out of the parking area.
One concert goer we spoke to commented: “Majoooo haaa! I don’t take the bus to come here. I drive my BMW and my friends will all take their cars too. You must be crazy to take the bus!”
Audi drivers rejoiced this morning after it was announced by local governments across Europe that the hot weather provides a legal excuse in order to drive like an idiot.
In a rare situation where BMW drivers were able to agree with Audi drivers, it seems that having the roof down and playing extremely loud reggaeton music is temporarily legal for a brief period of time while the sun shines brightly down on Europe.
Cutting corners and being a road hog with also be acceptable during the summer months.
Luxembourg has been selected to host the world’s first drink driving championships as part of its national branding campaign.
Thousands of competitors have been waiting for years for the opportunity to compete in the event and finally their dreams are coming true.
Drink driving has been an unofficial sport in the grand duchy for years thanks to phenomenally high taxi prices and lack of long distance late night transport.
Regional heats will be organised between the city and Grevenmacher as well as Echternach and Diekirch.
Drivers are expected to tackle tight corners while overtaking cars at high speeds.
Extensive training regimes will be in place to assure drivers that because they own a new BMW, it means they are invincible on the roads.
Plastic gold star badges will be awarded to the winners as well as social recognition from their well connected local commune friends.
Losers will probably get a small fine.
Scientists this week revealed images taken from satellites in space of Troisvierges in the north of Luxembourg.
The location, known mostly to the public as some place that a couple of trains go to and the occasional bus, is set to become the next area of exploration.
Space mining companies are keen to exploit the area for new findings in minerals.
More info to come as Benelux News follows progress.