Skip to content
Daily Life 0

After 3 months, woman finally gets parking place at Auchan

You may remember, back in December, Benelux News managed to get an exclusive interview with a woman who had been driving around Auchan car park for 3 days trying to find a space. You can read the interview here: https://beneluxnews.net/2017/12/19/woman-enters-3rd-day-of-driving-round-auchan-car-park/ It turns out she has finally found one 3 MONTHS later! Benelux News was again first on the scene and […]

Daily Life 0

Monday cancelled due to lack of interest

A feeling of ease was felt across the country this morning after it was officially announced by local government that a decision had been made to cancel Monday due to a lack of interest. Government officials are currently discussing banning Mondays completely and are hoping to come to a conclusive decision in the coming weeks.

Daily Life

Police stop international terrorist search to arrest teenager for small bag of weed

Luxembourg Police on Friday decided that they no longer can be bothered to seek out a possible international terrorist threat and instead pick on some local teenagers smoking a joint. After some discussion between senior officers, it was decided that because nothing really terrorist related had happened, they would give some basic training to the Palace guards who could then […]

Daily Life 0

6000 people go to see fake DJ press play

Thousands of young people flocked to the Rockhal this week to see super star and apparent “DJ” press play on a USB player it was revealed. French super star David Guetta managed to fool yet another concert venue in to thinking he was actually DJing by using a pre-recorded mix put together by a team of people behind the show. […]

Daily Life 0

New Luxembourg Monopoly game scrapped because not enough paper money can be printed

The latest edition of the popular board game Monopoly has had its latest Luxembourg Edition cancelled after the game making company revealed that there simply isn’t enough paper in the region to print for in game money. The findings come after various environmental attempts to cut down on paper usage have conflicted with rising property prices in the grand duchy. […]

Daily Life 0

Woman spends 2 days going up Auchan escalator

Crowds gathered at the top of one of the Auchan escalators this afternoon after a local woman was reported to have made a two day journey up to the first floor of the supermarket complex. The journey started on Wednesday morning just as the lunch time rush was getting underway. Auchan escalators are well known for being notoriously slow, to […]

Daily Life 0

Moron boss already planning “important” email to send at 17.55 on Friday

Rumours circulating around the city today were confirmed true and revealed by Benelux News that a total moron boss is already planning an “important” email to send out to colleagues just 5 minutes before home time on Friday.  Benelux News reporters were first on the scene to speak with the manager, but he seemed reluctant to talk.  “It’s impossible to […]