A recent study between customers and workers confirmed today that the majority of McDonalds managers are absolute tossers.
The recent findings were confirmed by workers who witnessed the managers saying to senior management that they will “turn this company around” and “we can hit our peak of shit burger sales under my command.”
The managers were witnessed to be smart arse bastards while making their employees and teams feel like shit while serving shit burgers.
Crap haircuts were also widely reported.
Authorities have expressed concerns over fresh protests by yellow jackets around the Grand Duchy.
The creche attendees have been protesting over the price of attending creche in Luxembourg.
“Every year the price rises for young children to attend creche.” said one spokesman.
“We are being stretched to a limit where our Christmas gifts are being reduced. It cannot continue!”
Police are currently on standby for any signs of unrest.
More info as it comes.
Following the results of previous years, Luxembourg’s drinkers claim that further essential research is required for investigating global beers and wines.
Due to a lack of memory last years results have been confirmed as “inconclusive” and thus requires further investigation and more essential funding is required.
“We need to be sure about the results,” claimed one investigator.
“There is no other choice.”
Luxembourg International Bazaar happens this weekend.
Residents around the Place de Paris recently opened a special Christmas Market to celebrate the arrival of new road works along the Avenue de Liberty this week.
The local residents committee approved the event weeks ago with all residents in full support of the project.
“We are so happy to have the roadworks here,” said one neighbour. “With all the traffic jams and noise it will feel like a real city.”
The market will be there until a couple of days before Christmas.
Representatives of Ville de Luxembourg and Emile Weber have confirmed that a number of bus drivers will meet soon for a bareknuckle death fight.
Tensions have been steadily rising since the construction of the tram in Kirchberg with VDL drivers claiming that Emile Weber drivers “just dump” their passengers in the middle of nowhere and leaving them to join their cool, city people on their buses.
Claims that the people coming in from the villages smell of manure have so far not been proved, however there are several witnesses who claim just that.
VDL’s current president said in a statement: “We are not messing around any more. We are sick of picking up these stranded people, who could easily be driven in to town.”
A spokesman for Emile Weber responded with: “Bring it on, bitches! We have got nothing to worry about, their top driver couldn’t fight his way out of a paper bag!”
The exact date is yet to be arranged, but it is rumoured that the location will be somewhere near the gare.
More info as we receive it.
Eager fans of the famous Netflix series “Narcos” will be pleased to know that the new season is currently being filmed in Esch sur Alzette.
Local residents reported that the scenes being filmed were very realistic and almost gave the impression of being a city of crime, just like a real city.
After filming in various locations around the country, the new season is expected to be out after some ridiculously long period of time, like 2020 or something.
After the Schueberfouer has ended, the official season of “close the f*cking door” officially starts.
Bar, restaurant and cafe customers are being warned about on the spot fines for people who leave the door open after entering or exiting a premises.
Fines can be up to €250 for anyone who leaves the door open or holds the door open for their friend who is still chatting for more than 30 seconds.
The public are advised to remain vigilant and to report any unnecessary door opening behaviour.