EU police start deporting Brexit Brits

Police forces across Europe today started a Europe wide round up of Brexit Brits and sending them home.

Police forces in Amsterdam, Ibiza, Prague and many others began the raids at around 5am this morning in preparation for the UK’s official exit from the EU at midnight tonight.

Countries who had experienced particular troubles with “Brits Abroad” including football hooligans, stag nights and English yobs were particularly eager to get rid of the idiots who creep onto the continent due to lax laws on immigration into the Schengen zone.

Starting on 1st Feb 2020, there will be a visa system in place to keep the idiots out, with France even considering bricking up the entrance to the Channel Tunnel towards the end of the year.

“Certain measures will be in place to keep out the idiots”, said a Police spokesman. “We fully intend to keep out Barry and the lads from Clacton-On-Sea, as well as Kev and Darren and their 20 pints challenge.”

Crowds of local residents gathered in various cities to applaud the work of the Police.


Motorway chaos as people walk from Luxembourg to Amsterdam to avoid KLM plane fares

Dozens of Police cars had to close off multiple sections of Belgian motorways this afternoon after hundreds of people wanting to go to Amsterdam were priced out of flying due to KLM’s sky high prices.

“We just wanted to go to Amsterdam for a couple of days,” said one man leading the first section of crowd. “The prices on KLM’s website were ridiculous, quoting €239 for a one way flight that takes just over an hour! We also looked at the possibility of a train, but that takes almost 8 hours. In the end we just thought f*ck it, let’s walk!”

Another traveller also commented, “we contacted KLM about the price, but they just fobbed us off saying that there are good prices if we search the website. But we found nothing under €239.”

Police are monitoring the situation to make sure all of the travellers successfully reach Amsterdam in the coming days, as support is growing fast for the group.