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Category: Europe

Daily Life 0

Hollerich reveals new Holler Dollar after officially applying for independence

The new currency set to launch soon after Hollerich receives it’s independence has been released. Each Holler Dollar will hold exactly the same value as a Euro and will be exchangeable in any business in Hollerich. Although primarily created for Beer tokens, it will be valuable for many other transactions including kebabs and lap dances. Hollerich leaders announced today that […]

Daily Life

Hollerich officially files for independence

The area of Hollerich in Luxembourg City has officially applied for independence on the same day as Brexit. Plans are apparently in place for a “Las Vegas” type area with it’s own currency and economic system in place. “The idea of Freedom For Hollerich (FFH) came about years ago.” Said one resident. “We always wanted to have a Vegas style […]

Europe

St Georges School pupils to be deported directly from class immediately after Brexit

Parents have been left feeling very anxious this morning after it was announced on Tuesday that pupils of the school could be deported directly from their class rooms immediately following activation of article 50 in the UK. Few details have been given so far, however various techniques and transportation methods have been suggested which included cattle trucks and second-hand dutch […]

Europe 0

Luxembourg border controls for personal hygiene for Belgian drivers

Luxembourg’s border poluce uave stepped up controls on personal hygiene after yesterday’s stench spread across the country.  After the bad smell was officially blamed on a paper factory near the Belgian border spread across the country, Luxembourg authorities are taking no risks and have warned motorists to shower and wear deodorant before making any attempt to cross the border into […]

Europe 0

World’s biggest facepalm causes earthquake fears after Trump wins presidency

Emergency services were alerted this morning after the world’s biggest simultaneous facepalm triggered earthquake warnings reaching 7.2 on the richter magnitude scale. Donald Trump’s elected presidency triggered the tremors so strong, even the financial markets collapsed. Despite reassuring speeches and statements made from the new President and relevant authorities, world citizens are being told to be vigilant. 

Europe

Belgium’s E25 motorway closed after scientists discover entire city inside pothole

Many of Belgium’s roads including the E25 motorway linking Luxembourg to Liege were closed on Tuesday morning after scientists discovered an entire living city inside one of the many potholes along the road. As details are starting to be released, it is claimed that the newly discovered city almost rivals the size of Brussels. The discovery has uncovered an array […]

Europe

Brexit set to be top excuse for not paying Christmas Bonus

Employers around the world are delighted to be given yet another excuse for not paying a Christmas Bonus to employees this year, after the new market uncertainty related to the Brexit situation. “For years now, we have been using various excuses which have just been sounding a bit old”, said one American Corporate manager. “We used the 9/11 excuse for […]

Europe

Britain kicked out of EU early to save european Nightlife

After the Brexit vote for Great Britain to leave the European Union, Jean-Claude Juncker and fellow politicians have decided not to wait for Article 50 to be signed and have decided to remove the UK early, stating risks to European Nightlife across all member countries. “We have many Brits still living in the EU” said Mr Juncker, “before these people […]

Europe

Belgium to give away driving licences in breakfast cereals

Belgian authorities this week have given the go ahead for driving licences to be given away free with limited edition boxes of breakfast cereal. The controversial move was inspired by studies of various driving qualities across Wallonia and Flanders regions which should see many new drivers speed up the licensing application process to the national standard. Unions showed anger towards […]