Woman can’t wait to completely change menu items

Restaurants across the country are currently preparing themselves for the arrival of a woman, or potentially several people who want to completely change what’s on the menu in their local restaurant.

Despite the menu clearly explaining what’s featured on the plate, changes must be made!

The woman is expected to request no onions, gluten free bread (even though gluten is not really a problem for her), the sauce to be separated into some strange side dish, order the meat super rare and then complain that it’s not cooked enough, insisting on a side salad but only eating two mouthfuls and leaving the rest.

“This is a growing problem,” said one restaurant owner. “Some people come in here thinking they know how to run a kitchen, but quickly realise they have no clue about cooking at all.”

Kitchen staff across the country will be expected to simultaneously roll their eyes whenever people make these kind of orders.

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Study confirms McDonalds manager is absolute tosser

A recent study between customers and workers confirmed today that the majority of McDonalds managers are absolute tossers.

The recent findings were confirmed by workers who witnessed the managers saying to senior management that they will “turn this company around” and “we can hit our peak of shit burger sales under my command.”

The managers were witnessed to be smart arse bastards while making their employees and teams feel like shit while serving shit burgers.

Crap haircuts were also widely reported.

Man falls into coma waiting for Indian food delivery

On Friday evening ambulance crews were called after a local man near Merl fell into a coma while waiting for an Indian food delivery.

After ordering from a popular Indian restaurant and take away near the gare, the man was rumoured to be waiting over two hours for the food to arrive.

Ambulance crews were called after neighbours became concerned and called the emergency services.

The man is said to be in a stable condition in a local hospital.

Nobody can confirm if the food ever arrived, but after Benelux News spoke with the restaurant over the phone, the restaurant said the food was on it’s way and should be another five minutes.

Benelux News will be the first to inform the public if the food ever arrives.

Loud Americans manage to annoy entire restaurant 

Hungry eaters were left feeling frustrated last night after a group of American business men went for dinner at a city centre restaurant. 

The group of four men sat down at a table around 8 o’clock and made their presence very known. 

The group were talking and laughing loudly while they discussed various topics, all related to work and being in the office. 

Other customers quickly noticed how boring the conversation was, although it seemed to be very amusing to the American businessmen.

“They just talked about ‘the Boston office’ and some associate of theirs,” one of the nearby diners said.

“We knew they were truly stupid when one of the men asked for tomato ketchup with his prawns.” 

The restaurant was reported to drop several decibels in sound levels after the men had left.

Restaurant workers have been warned to keep an eye out for these men as a warning for possible future visits.