Taxi company teams up with Immobilier to charge according to social status of residential area

Bad news for taxi users this week, as it was announced that new prices are to be introduced that fit in line with the area that you live in.

Luxembourg’s leading taxi company has teamed up with a leading Immobilier company to fix the prices based on which area is more highly valued in the housing market.

“We had a lot of problems with the new taxi fare transparency subject recently,” said a taxi spokesman. “We needed to find a way to reduce prices, but still be able to rip people off. So we put our heads together and came up with this.”

To put this in to perspective, if you live in Belair, you would be charged as much as 10 euros more than a journey of the same distance but just across the road in Merl. We asked the taxi company how that can be justified.

“It’s simple,” said the spokesman. “Belair has kind of a famous name and property can cost a bit more there. So we milk the residents there for everything they have got. Also the Fresh Prince lived in Belair many years ago, which is kind of famous still. So we will go with that excuse for now.”

Immobilier values kettle at €12,500 

One of Luxembourg’s top immobilier companies has decided on the value of a kettle at €12,500 yesterday, after the home owners decided to leave a few items behind.

The apartment is due to go on the market next week and hoping to fetch a huge price.

“The owners decided to leave a few things behind and so we valued them in addition to the property price to create more commission for us,” the immobilier explained. 

“By charging ridiculous sums of money for small things, we can hopefully add around €100,000 to the total property value.” 

Items included a kettle, some old knives and forks, a toothbrush holder and some old cushions. 

The property is expected to be on the market next week at some unrealistic price.

“We’re very excited about this,” said the salesman.