Tag: Auchan

After 3 months, woman finally gets parking place at Auchan

by Benelux News, posted in Daily Life

You may remember, back in December, Benelux News managed to get an exclusive interview with a woman who had been driving around Auchan car park for 3 days trying to find a space.

You can read the interview here: https://beneluxnews.net/2017/12/19/woman-enters-3rd-day-of-driving-round-auchan-car-park/

It turns out she has finally found one 3 MONTHS later!

Benelux News was again first on the scene and managed to get an exclusive interview once again.

“I knew it would happen one day,” said the woman. “My advice to anyone trying to find a space is just to stick with it.”

Woman spends 2 days going up Auchan escalator

by Benelux News, posted in Daily Life

Crowds gathered at the top of one of the Auchan escalators this afternoon after a local woman was reported to have made a two day journey up to the first floor of the supermarket complex.

The journey started on Wednesday morning just as the lunch time rush was getting underway.

Auchan escalators are well known for being notoriously slow, to the point where there are now crowds of people supporting shoppers as they climb slowly up the escalators.

“It’s like a slow version of the Tour de France.” said one bystander.

“I just popped out of the office to get a sandwich,” said the woman. “I can’t believe it took so long, but with the people’s support, it helped me not die of boredom.”

Auchan are rumoured to be giving away discount vouchers to anyone who survive the long climb without just giving up.

Woman enters 3rd day of driving round Auchan car park

by Benelux News, posted in Daily Life

Benelux News caught up with a woman who has been driving around Auchan car park for the last 3 days trying to find a parking space.

“I just thought I would get a few extra things before Christmas, but I still haven’t found any place to park yet.”

“I thought I found a space yesterday, but as I approached I saw some bastard had parked a Fiat Cincocento there.”

The woman managed to survive on half a pack of Haribo and a quarter bottle of Rosport Blue.

But she still remains hopeful.

“Any minute now I will find a space. I’m sure it’s just around the next corner.”

Supermarket security guard thinks EVERYONE is a shoplifter

by Benelux News, posted in Daily Life

An exclusive interview with a Luxembourg security guard revealed that all supermarket security are under strict orders to suspect EVERYONE of shoplifting, regardless of age, gender or colour.

“We believe that everyone is a potential thief here,” said the guard who comes from Thionville. “Even the old ladies with a member card from the shop since 10 years or more are a potential threat and may try to steal some eggs. We can’t take any chances.”

Benelux News caught up with one customer, Josephine, who explained her frustration with being hassled every time she tries to enter the supermarket. 

“It really is stupid,” she said. “I am treated like a criminal every time I come to buy my groceries. One day I’m going to take my mobility scooter and ram-raid this f*cking place!”

Cora, Auchan and Cactus refused to comment.