Emile Weber and VDL bus drivers to meet for bareknuckle death fight

Representatives of Ville de Luxembourg and Emile Weber have confirmed that a number of bus drivers will meet soon for a bareknuckle death fight.

Tensions have been steadily rising since the construction of the tram in Kirchberg with VDL drivers claiming that Emile Weber drivers “just dump” their passengers in the middle of nowhere and leaving them to join their cool, city people on their buses.

Claims that the people coming in from the villages smell of manure have so far not been proved, however there are several witnesses who claim just that.

VDL’s current president said in a statement: “We are not messing around any more. We are sick of picking up these stranded people, who could easily be driven in to town.”

A spokesman for Emile Weber responded with: “Bring it on, bitches! We have got nothing to worry about, their top driver couldn’t fight his way out of a paper bag!”

The exact date is yet to be arranged, but it is rumoured that the location will be somewhere near the gare.

More info as we receive it.

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Public start hitchhiking between Kirchberg and the City

Traffic problems flared this afternoon as members of the public decided “fuck it” and attempted to flag down cars in order to travel between Kierchberg and Luxembourg City.

Following the cancellation of various bus services between the two destinations, it would appear that several years of planning and building the new tram service has been a complete waste of time and money.

“Nobody knows what the hell is going on.” said one man. “It’s actually a lot simpler to just flag down a car and see if you can get a lift with someone.”

Benelux News is advising everyone who needs to travel for work in Kirchberg to simply not bother.