Emile Weber and VDL bus drivers to meet for bareknuckle death fight

Representatives of Ville de Luxembourg and Emile Weber have confirmed that a number of bus drivers will meet soon for a bareknuckle death fight.

Tensions have been steadily rising since the construction of the tram in Kirchberg with VDL drivers claiming that Emile Weber drivers “just dump” their passengers in the middle of nowhere and leaving them to join their cool, city people on their buses.

Claims that the people coming in from the villages smell of manure have so far not been proved, however there are several witnesses who claim just that.

VDL’s current president said in a statement: “We are not messing around any more. We are sick of picking up these stranded people, who could easily be driven in to town.”

A spokesman for Emile Weber responded with: “Bring it on, bitches! We have got nothing to worry about, their top driver couldn’t fight his way out of a paper bag!”

The exact date is yet to be arranged, but it is rumoured that the location will be somewhere near the gare.

More info as we receive it.

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Gotham Club to be renamed Fight Club

The infamous Gotham Club in Limpertsberg has announced plans to rebrand under the new name; Fight Club.

The new name was decided after dozens of reviews of the club on its Facebook page of clients complaining of being beaten up by the security staff.

“We had so many reports of customers having the crap beaten out of them that we just decided that was what we had to name it,” said manager Bob Ballface.

“Our policy is basically to get people in, get them to spend as much money as possible on overpriced bottles of alcohol and then kick the crap out of them once we think they have no money left.”

“If anyone complains, we just ignore them and carry on like nothing happened, while claiming to be the best club in the world, which everyone knows is bullshit.”

Want to get beaten up after a bottle of cheap champagne? Then head to Gotham this weekend for even more bad music and bad attitude!