Local man determined to get drunk for free in supermarket

A local man was on his usual supermarket shopping spree in Bertrange on Friday when he spotted 3 different wine tasting stalls inside the store within a 75 metre radius.

Quick to react to the situation, the man beckoned his girlfriend directly over to the closest wine tasting stand, completely bypassing the noodles section and the Nutella section.

While sipping his second sample of red wine, the mans thoughts were becoming focussed on how many free samples he could get away with at each stand, while carefully calculating the possibilities of finding a possible free snack somewhere in the shop and making a full dinner our of the whole experience.

Sadly, the mans hopes and dreams were destroyed when the realisation came that he and his girlfriend still had to visit the fruit and veg section before the shop closed.

Plans are being made for the next visit.

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Woman going on holiday thinks 20kg baggage allowance is a targetĀ 

A woman from Bertrange was shocked this week to discover that the 20kg baggage allowance for her flight was in fact a limit and not a target. 

Despite not needing half the clothes she packed for her holiday, she became agitated when her husband pointed out that she would probably do some shopping on holiday and would need more space available in her suitcase in order to bring the shopping back home.

After some despair and stress, she then suggested that she put some of her clothes in to her husbands suitcase in order to take everything that she thought she might need.

After the husbands initial refusal, an argument then occurred which resulted in him just giving up packing all together and had to just shut up while she finished packing. 

“I just don’t understand,” she said. “I always make the baggage allowance a target as I thought the airlines wanted me to pack that much, so that the bag doesn’t collapse under all the other bags in the hold. It’s so confusing.” 

The man was unavailable for comment.

Bertrange residents evacuated after Cora / Del Haize peace talks break down

Residents were evacuated over night last night after peace talks between two rival supermarkets broke down in the early hours.

The official announcement was made at 2.55am with military force and aid workers arriving as early as 4.00am.

“People were panicking and understandably very nervous of the situation,” said one of the aid workers. “We are working around the clock to make sure everyone is safe from any harm.”

Initial reports suggest that a safe zone has been declared at the Aldi supermarket, which is located in the exact middle between the two supermarkets.

“Aldi is still a very neutral and safe area for the moment,” said one of the local residents who was evacuated. “We hope it will remain a safe place for us to be.”

Cheaper food supplies are being sold at Aldi, but stocks are limited. So shop carefully.

Benelux News will be the first with updates to this story as and when the emerge.