Luxair Celebrates 1 Million Unanswered Emails

Luxair staff celebrated yesterday evening and the system passed 1 Million unanswered emails.

Staff were overjoyed at the lack of people they had to reply to, by simply ignoring them.

“It’s so great,” said one employee in the customer service department. “Even if it’s really urgent, we just don’t bother answering at all. We assume the customers will then try to take the phone route, but then we don’t even answer those either. And if we finally do, we make it sound confusing like they somehow got through to a back office by mistake. It’s so much fun.”

The celebrations were also being felt in the internal departments.

“We know that there are people trying to get answers who are actually part of our company and network. We know they are trying to help us and need answers from us urgently, but we just ignore them too!”

Luxair is hoping to break the record next year and is currently on course to hit 5 million unanswered emails and double the ignored phonecalls.

Benelux News emailed the press office for an official statement, but we are yet to receive a reply.

Ryanair Customer Service department finally located in Sahara Desert

Images made their way back to Europe today of Ryanair’s Customer Service department after several passengers went on a trip to try to get their money back from the cancellations in 2017.

After cancelling nearly half a million passengers’ journeys in 2017 and still not refunding the money, the disgruntled customers set out to try to get some answers.

Despite finding the office in the Sahara Desert, there was a sign on the wall saying that the department was on strike with no date given as to the return.

Crémant voted better than movies as Luxair wings it to second place

The public was woke up baffled this morning after the news broke that Luxair had made it to second place in the world in a supposed public vote on the Edreams website in world airline rankings. 

The vote was based on a number of factors including in-flight entertainment, beating airlines such as Singapore Airlines, Qatar and Etihad.

Benelux News reporters were firstto get in the airport terminal this morning to interview travellers.

“I am still trying to find the movies, music, PlayStation and free wifi options on my seat.” said one regular traveller. “It must be a first class section secret, as I every time I ask for it, they just give me Crémant.”

The website, Edreams, said that it’s survey was based on 90,000 customers every year for the past 5 years.

It has also had legal action put against it for fraud almost every year for the past 6 years.

Scientists are also rumoured to be heading to the airport to try to find the in-flight entertainment on-board the aircraft.