Socks and Sandals to be made illegal by Summer 2019

New law proposals were approved this morning that would ban the wearing of socks with sandals in all public places by as early as next summer.

The bill was passed in the chambres des deputies with an overwhelming 94% vote in favour.

Checks at the gare as well as border controls will become stricter.

Extra security checks in supermarket parking areas are also expected to begin by May next year.

Heavy fines and possible custodial sentences for repeat offenders will be given to anyone of any age wearing this monstrosity.

You have been warned.

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Owning a bar while being a dickhead to be made illegal by 2020

A new law was voted 98/2 today at the Chambre des Deputies making it official that any new bars opening in Luxembourg cannot be owned by a dickhead, it was announced today.

Strict laws will be brought in to force, making it compulsory for all new applications to be filed by “only cool people.” 

The surprising vote came after a recent survey found that a growing number of bars are run by dickheads. 

“Although most bar owners are pretty cool,” said a spokesman. “We want to filter out the number of self-centered dickheads that don’t have so many people visiting and increase the nicer people running bars and don’t have a problem with that fact that there are other businesses trying just as hard as them to have a nice life here.”