Category: Daily Life

Schueberfouer announces new VIP bar exclusively for married cousins

by Benelux News, posted in Daily Life

Luxembourg’s famous Schueberfouer announced this morning that there will be a new bar set up within the event that will be open exclusively for married cousins. 

The announcement came after market research revealed a big demand from people from the north of Luxembourg wanting a place to have fun with their relatives.

A variety of events will be announced including; Incest Speed Dating and Cousin Car Key Swapping. 

Organisers hope this will attract a larger part of the northern population to visit the event.

More events to be announced soon.

Parents planning to take screaming kids to over 18 drinking establishments this weekend 

by Benelux News, posted in Daily Life

Parents around the country are planning on taking their kids to bars this week in celebration of the hot weather. 

The children will be forced to attend lunches and various activities in over 18s drinking establishments where adults will be trying to enjoy a cold beer in the sun.

“I just let my kids scream and run around”,  said one father.

“If anyone complains, we will just give them a funny look like they shouldn’t be in a pub if they don’t like kids.”

Concerns are growing amongst the adult drinking community as strip clubs are increasingly becoming the only places to retreat for a quiet beer. But as the prices rise and the strippers get pregnant, it seems only a matter of time until strip clubs get converted in to creches.

Measures are being taken by a certain few, such as secretly giving the hyperactive kids Red Bull just 5 minutes before they leave the bar.

Luxembourg buses to be equipped with coffee machines for driver changeovers 

by Benelux News, posted in Daily Life

New luxuries are to be introduced later this year to make bus drivers feel more at home on the job.

Coffee machines will be on board every city centre bus from September. 

Placed just above the dashboard, next to the ticket machine, they will be ideally placed between the old driver and the replacement driver and will be perfect for the long conversation that occurs during the changeover.

Bus companies are hoping this will add on extra time to their average journey times.

Train passengers stranded since 2 years near Bettembourg 

by Benelux News, posted in Daily Life

Concerns are rising about the health of over 70 train passengers currently stranded near Bettembourg for over 2 years.

The train has been in the same spot after severe problems at Bettembourg station and it appears the train has been forgotten about completely. 

Friends and relatives have been giving food supplies through the windows of the train because the driver cannot open the doors because of insurance risks.

“It’s been almost 26 months now,” said one of the passengers. “They keep making announcements that we should be moving shortly, but nothing happens.” 

As Benelux News was going to press, rumours were beginning to circulate that the driver is confident they will be home in time for Christmas. 

More updates to come soon.

Waitress determined to finish her conversation before serving next customer 

by Benelux News, posted in Daily Life

A city centre waitress was praised by colleagues today after trying exceptionally hard to finish her conversation before taking an order from a patiently waiting customer.

The customer had been waiting for some time to be able to buy a coffee and a croissant, but had to wait extra long while the waitress finished talking with her colleague.

“I simply pretend not to notice,” she said. “I don’t really care if the customer waits or not, I need to discuss pointless things with my work colleagues.” 

As Benelux News was going to press, she was reported to be taking extra time finding change. 

Weekend plans cancelled after man caught with 15,000 ecstasy pills at Findel Airport 

by Benelux News, posted in Daily Life

Party people cancelled all weekend plans at the last minute this afternoon, after a man carrying 15,000 ecstasy pills was caught while travelling through Findel Airport today.

Bars and clubs are expecting a quiet weekend and are looking for ways to entice people into their establishments.

A high number of free shots are expected to be given out to disappointed punters.

Entire bar waits 2 hours to be served as wanker orders 7 different gin & tonics

by Benelux News, posted in Daily Life

Crowd control security was called in to a city centre bar last weekend as people waited to be served.

According to witnesses, a man ordered 7 different Gin & Tonics for his friends which made waiting times even worse than normal. 

Each recipe required various bar staff to collect ingredients from different sections of the bar which included the stock room and even borrowing ingredients from neighbouring businesses. 

The entire fiasco ended after over 2 hours and the bar is now revising it’s drinks menu and service plan.

Doping scandal hits Duck Race as number of ducks test positive for performance enhancing drugs

by Benelux News, posted in Daily Life

Reports were released this morning as a number of ducks due to compete in the upcoming duck race in Luxembourg’s Petrusse, tested positive for ephedrine.

Luxembourg’s famous duck race has been held on the final weekend of April for many years and has proved to be extremely popular. 

But with the increase in popularity, comes added pressure to perform.

Up to 15 ducks are said to have tested positive and are likely to be disqualified as a result.

Local sports authorities are said to be investigating. 

More info as it comes. 

Wiltz couple divorce but still want to remain brother and sister

by Benelux News, posted in Daily Life

A couple from Wiltz in the north of Luxembourg have decided to divorce, but have said that they’d still like to stay brother and sister.

Ralf and Josee Schmitt got married three years ago, but things turned ugly at a local brasserie last week.

After arguing over who was going to milk the cows in the morning, Josee smashed Ralf in the face with a Bofferding glass.

“The marriage might not have worked, but we still want to remain brother and sister” said Ralf.

Divorce proceedings start this week at the local commune.

Hollerich reveals new Holler Dollar after officially applying for independence

by Benelux News, posted in Daily Life, Europe

The new currency set to launch soon after Hollerich receives it’s independence has been released.

Each Holler Dollar will hold exactly the same value as a Euro and will be exchangeable in any business in Hollerich.

Although primarily created for Beer tokens, it will be valuable for many other transactions including kebabs and lap dances.

Hollerich leaders announced today that the Hollerich area will be applying for independence after casino licenses cannot be obtained in the area.

The support for “Freedom For Hollerich” is growing rapidly.

More to come soon on this story from Benelux News.