Child Protection Services called after parents refuse to buy designer bag

Luxembourg’s child protection services were called today after an incident on the Grand Rue in the centre of the city.

Police and child care workers were called to the Louis Vuitton shop around lunchtime to assist a teenager in distress. With the beginning of the new school year starting on Monday, the 14 year old girl wanted a brand new bag, priced at 1,400 euros to go to school with.

Realising that the bag would just be thrown around and dumped on the floor regularly, her parents refused to buy the bag and so authorities were called.

“We already got her the new iPhone 7 this week and now she wants a ridiculously over-priced bag,” said the girl’s Father as he was taken away by Police.

The girl was led away by carers to go to a care home while the parents will remain in custody for questioning.

The shop owner was unavailable for comment.

Luxembourg airport sets sights on being the biggest rip off in Europe

The new Luxembourg airport has set its sales targets to being the biggest rip off in Europe, it was announced today.

“After an unnecessary renovation, we have jacked up our prices to truly give the customer a feeling of having no choice but to spend all their money,” a spokesperson said.

“We figured that if travellers had all their holiday money with them in their pockets, they should blow it all at the airport and be left feeling poor for their entire holiday.”

“To achieve this target was simple, we simply decided to charge 6.50 for a crappy sandwich, 4.90 for a small beer and 4.50 for a 20cl Pepsi… To top it all off, we just assumed that people are too stupid to realise what ‘duty-free’ really means and just jack up the price anyway.”

With Oberweis following suit very fast by charging 13 euros for 8 macarons, it seems the high price competition is on!

Luxembourg’s shops sell record amount of old junk.

Luxembourg’s shopkeepers were celebrating on Monday afternoon after managing to sell off over 90% of old shit that had been sitting at the back of the stock rooms since January.

Low prices, accompanied with awful music and idiots on microphones who thought they were working at the Schueberfouer, helped most shops shift all their crap on to an unsuspecting crowd.

“We have been trying to sell this shit since Christmas 2003” said one shopkeeper as he sold the last of the chocolate fireguards for 3 euros.

“We’re very happy with today’s results and are looking forward to stocking up with as much cheap crap as possible ready for Halloween.”