New plans outlined for airport in Hollerich

The Hollerich independence party this morning released the first image of the proposed Hollerich airport to be built once Hollerich has gained independence from Luxembourg.

The single terminal airport is expected to handle up to 100 flights per day and will be a destination for flights from as far away as LaRochette and Septfontaine.

Some surprise has come at the decision to build the new terminal on top of the existing cemetery. While some politicians have raised serious concerns over moral values of the construction location, the architects and planners insist they conducted a survey in the cemetery and received no objections.

“Having the airport located in Hollerich will put short haul budget flights such as Easyjet in direct competition with Luxembourg’s taxi companies, as they will be able to offer cheap, short flights from Findel to Hollerich and thus saving a lot of money for the consumer.” Said a spokesman.

When asked by Benelux News if there were any objections from neighbours in Merl, he replied: “Merl residents have always had life good and have always thought of themselves as ‘better than Hollerich’. We intend to change that attitude. We want to make everyone equally thought of and will be directing some of our flight paths directly over Merl park and will be adding an extra tax to local residents to cover the charge for the terminal cleaners. In return, we offer sandwiches and drinks at the airport at a fraction of the cost of Findel. I think the money saved on Crémant as pre holiday drinks will more than make up for the cost difference.”

The plans for the terminal and runways can be seen below.

hollerich_airport

Advertisements

Mugabe application rejected as President of new Hollerich

Robert Mugabe was informed today just hours after standing down from his role in Zimbabwe, that his recent application for President of the new Hollerich has been rejected.

According to inside sources, despite his proposals for a “better Hollerich,” his past record with value of the Zimbabwe Dollar was simply too big a risk for the proposed Holler Dollar, due to come in to circulation in the coming months.

A spokesman said; “We simply cannot risk the Holler Dollar losing value, as we expect it to come in to the financial market with a high value. Therefore Mr Mugabe is simply not a suitable candidate.”

Luxembourg Police storm voting centres to block Hollerich vote for independence

Luxembourg police in riot gear smashed in the doors of polling stations and dragged protesters away by the hair, beating some with batons and firing rubber bullets at others on Sunday as they tried to shut down an illegal referendum on independence in Hollerich.

Despite the police brutality against largely peaceful demonstrations, voting began in many locations across Hollerich and the gare area at 9 a.m. The Hollerich government said 73 percent of polling stations were open.

It’s unclear when or, indeed, if a result will be announced and no exit polls are planned, though those who do vote are likely to be overwhelmingly from the pro-independence camp. A non-binding vote in 2014, also held in defiance of the Luxembourgish courts, saw 80 percent back a split from Luxembourg on turnout of about 30 percent. In the most recent Hollerich government poll in July, 35 percent of respondents said the region should become independent.

More news as it comes in.

Hollerich officially files for independence

The area of Hollerich in Luxembourg City has officially applied for independence on the same day as Brexit.

Plans are apparently in place for a “Las Vegas” type area with it’s own currency and economic system in place.

“The idea of Freedom For Hollerich (FFH) came about years ago.” Said one resident. “We always wanted to have a Vegas style area and for years we have worked on it. We wanted Casinos, Night Clubs and Hookers. So far we have the hookers and night clubs, all we need now are casinos. With current Luxembourgish law, we cannot have a casino placed in the area. So we are going for independence.”

The new currency, known as “Holler Dollars” has already been printed and is expected to launch onto the market with a high value.

More to come on this story, but Benelux News supports Freedom For Hollerich.