Category: Europe

Parents have been left feeling very anxious this morning after it was announced on Tuesday that pupils of the school could be deported directly from their class rooms immediately following activation of article 50 in the UK.

Few details have been given so far, however various techniques and transportation methods have been suggested which included cattle trucks and second-hand dutch caravans.

“It’s unbelievable this is happening,” said one worried mother. “I just wanted my child to speak English in a foreign country without learning the local language and now we stand to lose our child completely.”

Another mother was worried that she couldn’t see her child ever again, “I don’t even know if I can pick up my son from school today. We are waiting to see if they want to keep them inside until Brexit kicks in.”

Benelux News will keep you informed of all future developments.

 

 

 

At just after 7pm this evening, Police back up was called to one of the streets around the Gare area of Luxembourg after a back up call from a rookie Police officer.

The officer had noticed several reindeer and a sleigh parked illegally and obstructing parked cars from exiting. A man in a red and white suit was seen talking with a known street dealer at the side of the road.

As the officer approached the sleigh, the dealer ran away, while the man in the red suit staggered back to his sleigh to ride away.

The Police officer then grabbed the man and made sure he could not get away while backup arrived.

A search of the sleigh resulted in a large amount of cash, drugs and several mobile phones. While understanding about the multiple time zones and contracts to make the phone bills cheaper for international travel, the large amounts of cash and drugs were not given a satisfactory explanation and so the man was handcuffed and put in the back of a Police car.

Benelux News team was quick to arrive on the scene and managed to get a quick interview with the Police officer; “We have apprehended this man with a large amount of illegal goods and we will be processing him and charging him at the station. It is doubtful that he will be released before the end of the year.”

As the interview was taking place, the arrested man began shouting from the inside of the car that it wasn’t fair and economic cuts had forced him into this situation, it gets him through the night, as well as shouting that it’s only once a year you boring b*stards among other profanities.

Has Christmas been cancelled this year? We will keep you up to date!

Many of Belgium’s roads including the E25 motorway linking Luxembourg to Liege were closed on Tuesday morning after scientists discovered an entire living city inside one of the many potholes along the road.

As details are starting to be released, it is claimed that the newly discovered city almost rivals the size of Brussels.

The discovery has uncovered an array of findings, including an elaborate water system and what is thought to be a beer pipeline running through the main street of the city.

More news as it unfolds.

 

Employers around the world are delighted to be given yet another excuse for not paying a Christmas Bonus to employees this year, after the new market uncertainty related to the Brexit situation.

“For years now, we have been using various excuses which have just been sounding a bit old”, said one American Corporate manager. “We used the 9/11 excuse for over 10 years, saying it was out of respect for the dead, then we used various market uncertainties. The recession in 2008 really saved us some money in bonuses. But for a while now, we have been trying to come up with new ideas.”

“My Personal Assistant is already working on wording the email correctly, so that employees will really believe we can’t afford bonuses, just one week after we send an email out to the whole company saying it’s been a record profit year.”

The email is currently set to role out on December 4th. Keep an eye on your inbox.