Tag: luxembourg

“Christmas is a time for giving” claims barman charging €3.50 for a 25cl beer at Christmas Market

by Benelux News, posted in Daily Life

People this year were reminded that Christmas is a time for giving while Christmas stands were charging customers higher prices for drinks and food than normal bars.

While paying just €40 a day for stall rent and having volunteer staff working his Christmas stall, the local man running the stand said; “It’s a time for giving and what better way than to give me all their money?!”

“I try to be as tight as possible with drinks and food and just hope that the Christmas music playing all around will distract the people from the fact that I am ripping them off. It’s certainly worked so far!”

When asked by Benelux News team how much he pays to buy in certain goods, he suddenly became busy and not available for comment.

 

 

Hungover man can’t believe he forgot to visit the Cuba stand at International Bazaar 

by Benelux News, posted in Daily Life

As more news reports emerge about the death of Fidel Castro, the sudden realisation from a local man that he forgot to visit the Cuba stand at the International Bazaar this weekend kicked in.

The man suddenly realised on the bus to work this morning as he read the news reports on his phone. 

“I can’t believe it,” said the man. “I was looking forward to it for weeks before and one drink led to another and I just completely forgot.” 

Benelux News can confirm that he is already planning a route for next year’s bazaar and hopes he will stick to that plan.

Luxembourg drinkers planning annual global “research” trip

by Benelux News, posted in Daily Life

Beer and wine fanatics are currently getting into shape for the International Bazaar at Luxembourg’s expo this weekend.

The annual global research trip is seen as a way of getting an accurate idea of cultures from various countries by drinking their beers and wine.

“Results from previous years have been vague, but the research must and will go on,” claimed one of the researchers. 

The International Bazaar will be open all day Saturday and Sunday. 

Workers Union called in after government employee asked to do some work

by Benelux News, posted in Daily Life

Workers Unions were alerted today after a city centre government employee was asked to do some work.

The work involved was deemed as a large task, expected to take at least 35 minutes to complete, that would involve sending 2 emails and walking to the printer which jams regularly for no apparent reason. 

Sources say that the additional work and stress of the bad conditions surrounding the printer could have caused the employee to miss part of their 2 hour lunch break and maybe interrupted their afternoon conversation over a cremant. 

The workers union will be closely watching all activities in the government office, as well as protests outside the building for the remainder of the week. 

World’s biggest facepalm causes earthquake fears after Trump wins presidency

by Benelux News, posted in Europe

Emergency services were alerted this morning after the world’s biggest simultaneous facepalm triggered earthquake warnings reaching 7.2 on the richter magnitude scale.

Donald Trump’s elected presidency triggered the tremors so strong, even the financial markets collapsed.

Despite reassuring speeches and statements made from the new President and relevant authorities, world citizens are being told to be vigilant. 

Bertrange residents evacuated after Cora / Del Haize peace talks break down

by Benelux News, posted in Daily Life

Residents were evacuated over night last night after peace talks between two rival supermarkets broke down in the early hours.

The official announcement was made at 2.55am with military force and aid workers arriving as early as 4.00am.

“People were panicking and understandably very nervous of the situation,” said one of the aid workers. “We are working around the clock to make sure everyone is safe from any harm.”

Initial reports suggest that a safe zone has been declared at the Aldi supermarket, which is located in the exact middle between the two supermarkets.

“Aldi is still a very neutral and safe area for the moment,” said one of the local residents who was evacuated. “We hope it will remain a safe place for us to be.”

Cheaper food supplies are being sold at Aldi, but stocks are limited. So shop carefully.

Benelux News will be the first with updates to this story as and when the emerge.

Grevenmacher: Marie-Astrid boat captured by Somali Pirates

by Benelux News, posted in Daily Life

Military personnel were alerted in the early hours of this morning, after Somali Pirates captured the Marie-Astrid boat while cruising along the Moselle river.

The local police chief said that negotiations are on going, with no clear reason why they strayed so far from Africa.

However some progress seems to be being made after a ransom payment offer of a few crates of Bofferding have been made. 

“The Bofferding offer went down well.” Said the Police spokesman. “We think it might just work.”

More on this story as it comes in.

Gare area man smashes world record asking for a cigarette 5,000 times in one day

by Benelux News, posted in Daily Life

A local man was surprised today to find out he broke the world record for asking for a cigarette from random strangers a total of 5,132 times in just 24 hours.

Television camera crews surrounded the man at about 4.30pm this afternoon, after news leaked that the record had been broken.

“I had no idea it was that many times,” he said. “Did I win a prize?”

He added that all it really took was dedication and always searching for new people to ask, whether they had a cigarette in their hand or not.

“The secret is to just ask anyone, regardless of if I was already smoking or not.”

Loud Americans manage to annoy entire restaurant 

by Benelux News, posted in Daily Life

Hungry eaters were left feeling frustrated last night after a group of American business men went for dinner at a city centre restaurant. 

The group of four men sat down at a table around 8 o’clock and made their presence very known. 

The group were talking and laughing loudly while they discussed various topics, all related to work and being in the office. 

Other customers quickly noticed how boring the conversation was, although it seemed to be very amusing to the American businessmen.

“They just talked about ‘the Boston office’ and some associate of theirs,” one of the nearby diners said.

“We knew they were truly stupid when one of the men asked for tomato ketchup with his prawns.” 

The restaurant was reported to drop several decibels in sound levels after the men had left.

Restaurant workers have been warned to keep an eye out for these men as a warning for possible future visits.

Supermarket woman with bad trolley skills to attempt to drive car home

by Benelux News, posted in Daily Life

On Saturday morning a woman in a large supermarket announced that she will attempt to drive her car home after annoying dozens of shoppers doing their weekly shopping. 

After displaying poor technical ability several times while in the fruit and veg section, she moved on to the meat section while getting in the way of no less than 7 people, eager to get their shopping done as quickly as possible. 

Benelux News reporters had arrived on the scene, shortly before she could reach the wine area for an exclusive interview. 

“I successfully managed to annoy several people just in the last 5 minutes, by cutting up people’s direction,” she said.

“I am looking forward to attempting to drive a car home and causing some near accidents as I go.” 

“The car park will be my first challenge, quickly followed by Saturday afternoon traffic jams.” 

Check your local radio announcements for traffic updates.